shiny_summer_825

It’s been a while since Ive been on here. Its been a rough two weeks, kinda just went off the rails. Starting over today. Feeling pretty shitty about myself and my lack of discipline. 

We had a friend over last night and I slipped up and had a few drinks.. I don’t know how to have the conversation with my boyfriend that I dont want to drink anymore. Maybe eventually it’ll be okay to have a glass of wine with dinner without wanting to chug the entire bottle. I am actually pretty proud of myself because I just start with my Naltrexone and wasn’t sure how it would react with alcohol so I had 2 vodka sodas and 2 bourbons over the course of 5 hours... for me that’s like not even drinking. I never had my ice cubes completely melt before I was finished drinking a drink ... new experience. Also it was strange being the most sober person in the room. I’ve never done that. When I had my moments of sobriety I would just avoid all social interaction that involved alcohol... ALSO Ive never seen my boyfriend drunk without being completely gone myself.  He’s a pretty level headed down to earth guy and was acting like an idiot so god only knows the ass that ive been making out of myself over the last 6-7 years -_-  I’m upset that I drank but also proud that it wasn’t a complete binge. it didn’t shake me up enough to be in the “fuck it” mentality again. — my question is though ... whats the best way to have this conversation ? I honestly don’t want to drink any more, I don’t want to wake up one day and be 45 with a fatty liver or some other health problem because I couldn’t put the bottle down.. I want to live long enough to see my grandkids! My boyfriend knows I have an issue with alcohol he knows I have been to AA , and he’s actually one of the main reason I want to stop drinking because he is seriously fed up with me being the “drunk girl“ at ever outing or social event. all suggestions are welcome ! 

I know the first week is always the hardest but DAMN I feel like the mega madusa bitch the crawled from the gates of hell to make everyones day bad.. lol sorry I have to make a joke out of myself to get thru this. Anyone else in the early days feeling like the want to punch a door ?  

Hi , 

this isnt so much about sharing but is there an actual app for monument ? Because I’ve just been using the web browser version and if there was an app I can download I feel like id be more engaging with y’all 

Hello 👋 

Im you’re text book definition of functioning alcoholic. I have been in and out of AA for 5ish years now only holding on to sobriety for a month at a time. If youre “only an alco “ you know the struggle of walking into a meeting and having everyone look at you like “you haven’t been to rehab? what youre totally fine” ... but you’re obviously not because you turned to AA as a last stitch effort to get your life on the right track. EVERYONE in my family drinks and it is nearly impossible to have a “healthy” relationship without alcohol... ironic right? I signed up for monument when covid hit because being home all day everyday was really getting hard, which I am sure most of you can relate too. finally deciding to commit to this and give it a whirl. I am hoping that the community here will be a little different than AA and I can finally clean my liver out