Good morning, Community! Popping in to announce that our newest support-group is going live this evening at 7:00 EST: "Drop-in community hangout." 

So, what's different about this?

✅ Members only. There is no therapist moderating this hangout. 

✅ Freeform, open-topic. 

✅ Join when you want, for as long as you want.

Practice accountability, form connections, RSVP here. 

Alcohol-removed wine brands are BOOMING. And hey, they're delicious AF (alcohol-free). Let's indulge in a belated National Wine Day with celebratory options that are love at first sip ❤️‍🔥

So, here are my top 6 favorites of all time: 

1. Surely Wines
2. Acid League
3. Fre Wines
4. Rock Grace
5. Töst
6. Navarro Vinyard Wines

P.S. Make sure to follow us @joinmonument on Instagram for our latest updates on AF cocktails, beers, spirits, and you guessed it: wines.🍹

Cheers! 

While it's an incredible story about Beth's relationship with chess, it's also about her relationship with alcohol and substances. How did you feel watching it? Let us know below (no spoilers!). ⬇️

Hi all! 🌱Back again, Monument Daisy / Content + Community lover 🤓(By the way, have you checked out our brand-new Resources page yet? 😉) I check in on the forum a few times a day to say Hiya 👋 and to answer any questions that you may have! I love hearing from you. 
 

As always, you are for showing up here and showing up for yourselves. We're so lucky to have you. Can you believe our Community has grown to over 10,000+ MEMBERS?! ✨✨✨
 

Last week, I did a roundup of weekly highlights. As a refresher for newer folks: member shout-outs, quotes of the week, questions of the week, and beyond! 
 

For this week, I’m giving major virtual high-fives to @sunny_apple_681  , @josephine29  , and@carmen_kisses  for their thoughtful participation in the community: for sharing their stories, and their words of encouragement for others. ✅💖
 

And of course, I want to give another shout-out to the 277 new members who joined Monument last week. You're all crushing it. 
 

You got this!

Hi all! 🌱As I'm sure you can guess, my name is Daisy, and I lead content and community here at Monument 🤓(Have you checked out our brand-new Resources page yet? 😉) I check in on the forum a few times a day to say Hi 👋 and to answer any questions that you may have! I love hearing from you. 

Oh, and first, I’d just like to say how incredible you are for showing up here and showing up for yourselves. We're so lucky to have you 🌈

Starting today, I’m going to do a roundup of weekly highlights. Think: member shout-outs, quotes of the week, questions of the week, and beyond! So let’s kick things off with a virtual high-five to @monumentmuppet   , @tropical_banjo_183  , and @turquoise_forest_348  , for their thoughtful participation in the community last week: for sharing their inspiring progress, and their words of encouragement for others. You make this platform what it is!

I’d also like to bump up a question asked by @soberbartender  -- I know it gave me a lot to think about! In short, let’s talk self-compassion. Comment your thoughts below ⬇️⬇️⬇️ and give @soberbartender some love for starting this important convo! 💚

And of course, I want to give another shout-out to the 412 new members who joined Monument last week. You're all total rockstars. 

You got this!

Check out this chat between one of the amazing therapists on our platform, Sabrina, and dating expert Lindsey of We Met At Acme talked about how drinking (and sobriety!) can affect dating & relationships. 🤩

Jump to 10:00 for one of my favorite takes: sobriety is sexy. 

By: Daisy Gumin, Community @Monument 

I assumed that within my first 60 days sober, I would become a girlfriend. I thought I would lose weight, become not depressed for starters, and of course, fall into an extraordinary amount of money. 

Unsurprisingly, those things didn’t happen in the first 60 days and sure, a few still haven’t come true, now three years later. I will say, however, that my life has gotten exponentially better, and yes, stay with me here…fun.

Pre-COVID, having fun felt fairly easy. I enjoy dancing, eating. Obviously, going dancing and Friday night restaurant-hopping date-nights with my girlfriend aren’t pandemic friendly. 

But! Here’s the but — I am still having fun. So, I’m sharing the activities that are keeping me in good spirits. Peppy, even. Let me preface this with, I still get sad and lonely and confused and furious like anyone else. Take one look around. But, I promise, one of these will scratch the itch. Even if it’s a half-fake smile or a single laugh — that’s enough for me. You’ve officially had fun and I’ve done my job.

Ok, so first, cook something new

I hate chopping things. That’s probably my least favorite part of cooking (In the event that I do cook). And what requires little chopping? Yep. You guessed it: Sour cream and onion biscuits.

Biscuits are great; I love biscuits. But, I also wanted to prove myself to myself. Like I, Daisy Gumin, can make biscuits and if I don’t have fun making them, I will undoubtedly have fun eating them.

Back home in New York City, I fell into the humdrum of egg, oatmeal, toast, smoothie (but no shade to Daily Harvest. Excellent smoothies.). A silver lining of quarantine is that wherever you are, you can make the time for things. The days of I don’t have time to make sour cream and onion biscuits are canceled.

In other words, make the biscuits  — whatever your biscuit thing is.

Play Jackbox 

I am not proud to say that I am occasionally a nay-sayer when it comes to traditional games. Ask me to play Monopoly? No. Uno? Eh. Scrabble? Have to be in the mood to be creamed by my family.

Now, Enter Jackbox.

Ah, Jackbox. The king of all games. The ultimate unifier. The games that don’t care if you’re young or old or funny or not. Jackbox games are the G.O.A.T (greatest of all time).

And no, I am not an ambassador.

Jackbox is a series of games that you can play with anyone (together or not) at any time, as long as everyone has the “room code.” These are drawing games, fill-in-the-blank games, laugh out loud competition games, trivia games. Believe me when I say, if all else fails, Jackbox will be your lifeline. And, if you don’t know where to start, try Jackbox’s “Quiplash” and “Drawful.” 

Make an AF drink (Hold your horses, it means alcohol-free) 

One of my favorite rituals of Friday night restaurant-hopping date-nights was asking the bartender, I’d like a cocktail without alcohol. Whatever you want to make, just no alcohol. Go Crazy. 

I’ve had tons of success with that opener. I’ve had muddled tomato and lavender in elderflower tonic. Pineapple, Thai tea, and coconut milk in a Moscow mule gauntlet. Citrus on citrus on citrus adorned with boysenberries.

It’s safe to say I was devastated when shelter-in-place went into-place and I could no longer do my proud, I want a delicious bev and hold the alcohol introduction. The good news is, the AF beverage industry is booming. Spirits, wines, beers, all AF.

Alas, in quarantine, I had to become my own bartender. But let me tell you, there’s nothing better than passing your drink around a table of alcoholic cocktails and getting the, “yours is the best” remark.

Like, yes. Thanks. I know.

Date (but very, very, for the love of god VERY, safely)

I love dates, whether with my partner or a friend. Pre-COVID, dates were my highlight of the week. Dates bring that sweet anticipation, the opportunity for spontaneity, and joy.

Spontaneity is somewhat impossible in the time of Coronavirus. *Safety is wildly more important than a last-minute plan for the sake of adventure.

So, my partner and I adapted (with the advice of some other couples-in-quarantine) and started putting together COVID friendly date-nights. Here’s my advice. 

1. Get dressed (dressed, dressed. Like, changing from the clothes you slept in, dressed)
2. Order take-out
3. Put the phones away
4. Make your AF drinks

…and date.

Workout to Youtube

Before shelter in place, I wasn’t working out. Sue me. 

I was doing triple overnight shifts at a sober living home and thought if anyone is busy, it’s me. Upon reflection, I think everyone believes they’re the only busy New Yorker.

But, if you want to flex that muscle (no pun intended), Youtube is a great place to start. You might surprise yourself. The 20-minute MadFit video could turn into two. Maybe you end up mixing and matching with Chloe Ting, POPSUGAR Fitness, and a full-body 5-minute boost to “Lose Yourself” by Eminem, as the finale. 

Lastly, serve up some nostalgia 

Do something that brings you back. A flashback Friday kind of thing.

For me, I’ve started rollerblading again. I think the last time I rollerbladed I was 11-years-old and had just officially gotten over my unicycle phase, for better or for worse. 

Anyway, get back in touch with that childlike you, before well, this pandemic. Or long before this pandemic. Let yourself look dorky. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Some lighthearted goofery never hurt anyone.

I promise, there’s fun out there (especially sober). Because who are we kidding, booze is so un-fun.  

About the Author: An NYC native, Daisy works on the marketing team at Monument doing all things content and community. Daisy has been an addiction recovery support specialist, a Columbia University undergrad, a columnist, a keynote speaker, a notoriously Highly Sensitive Person, and a proud circus recruit. Daisy loves crime podcasts, her West Virginian god-dog Louise, sweatpants, and 90-Day Fiance. Find her at daisy@joinmonument.com

One evening, an elderly Cherokee brave told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “my son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is sinister. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace love, hope serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “which wolf wins?” 

The old Cherokee simply replied, “the one that you feed." 

So, how can you feed the good wolf today? 🌛 Comment below! 

By Latiana Blue, Founder of OFFICE HRS

When I stopped drinking, I had strange, repetitive dreams — like planes crashing around me and not breaking — and I woke up frequently in the middle of the night.

Like many folks in early recovery, I struggled with depression. I stayed up late and craved alcohol when I should’ve been sleeping. I felt exhausted and outside of work, I spent most of my time alone, hanging onto what energy I did have like a sponge.

COVID-19 isolation was the incentive I needed to take my sleep habits more seriously. Creating a nighttime routine has improved my energy, and I feel more empowered to take better care of myself. It’s not perfect, but it’s one I can stick to.

So, here’s a bit of guidance for sleeping better during recovery. And, to help organize your bedtime ritual, try my guide at the end of this article. Let’s create a more sustainable nighttime routine starting tonight!

Why good sleep matters in early recovery

Your previous night’s sleep can change the entire course of your day, and if mistreated long enough, nature will slow your body down for you. Mark Wu, M.D, Ph.D, a sleep disorder specialist and neurology professor at Johns Hopkins, explains, “Your body can’t force you to eat when you’re hungry, but when you’re tired, it can put you to sleep, even if you’re in a meeting or behind the wheel of a car.”

Sleep is a lot like water: the body needs it to function, and works better when we have enough. In early recovery, though, it’s common to experience disruptive sleep patterns. Our worries tend to magnify when alcohol cannot distract us, especially if we’re used to drinking before bed.

But when you find what works, good sleep improves both decision-making skills and detail orientation. It also increases your focus and calms your stress.

Adjust your beliefs about rest

During recovery, it’s common to exchange one unhealthy habit for another. Personally, as a longtime night owl, I’m slowly breaking the curse of being illuminated in the dark by my laptop.

In order to adjust any of my unhealthy nighttime habits, I had to reframe what I believed about rest. For example, rest can look like any of the following, and always leads to a good night’s sleep for me:

1. Calling someone I trust

I love phone calls. If it’s getting late and I need an ear, I know who I can talk to for support. These are folks I’m closest to, and after years of friendship, they know how to ease what stress I’m spewing over the phone. I always feel relieved and ready for bed.

2. Listening to meditative singing bowls

I found this Tibetan singing bowl video years ago, and it’s a fail-proof resource when I really can’t sleep. It’s nine hours long, so it can accompany you through a full night’s rest, or if you’re working from home and want a soothing space during the day.

3. Adjusting my room temperature

Keeping a level head goes out the window when my body is too hot. A hot room interrupts your sleep stages and your body’s natural cooling process. On the other end of the spectrum, a room that’s too cold isn’t great either. Oftentimes, too cold of a room simply makes it difficult to get to bed. So, finding what a balanced temperature looks for you is key. For me, the moment I cool down my bedroom a bit, I go from stressed to calm in a matter of minutes.

Make your nighttime routine stick

When I try something new, I like to think about what I’ll gain if I commit, fully. The same applies when creating a nighttime routine. I think about how much better I’ll feel if I get to bed just 15 minutes sooner than the night before.

When adjusting to new habits, it’s good to experiment, start simple, and settle on what feels right. If you’re looking for a little structure, see if my guide helps!

Set an alarm for 15 minutes. Answer the following five questions, and then reflect on healthy activities you can manage before bedtime. A few of my favorite activities are below.

August Sleep Questions

1. How many hours of sleep do I get right now?
2. What overall factors prevent me from getting better sleep?
3. What would I like to do more often before bed?
4. How would I like to feel before bed?
5. How would I like to feel when I wake up?

Soothing Activities I Enjoy

1. Prayer or meditation
2. Playing my keyboard badly!
3. Watching anime

Set another alarm for 15 minutes. List your sleep goals for the next month and create a plan for how you can achieve them. Check out my list for August:

August Sleep Goals

1. Work toward long-term 10:30pm bedtime goal
2. Detach from technology after 10:30pm
3. Start journaling about my relationship to rest

August Sleep Challenge

1. Fall asleep by 11:00pm from 8/4 to 8/7. (My current bedtime is 11:30pm.)
2. During the same week, put my phone and computer in the closet by 10:30pm
3. Journal about rest for 5 minutes everyday during the challenge

Record your experiences — any changes in mood, restfulness, or adverse effects — throughout August. You can keep a note on your phone or in a notebook and title it “My Nighttime Routine: August.” If daily upkeep sounds overwhelming, remember that one sentence counts, and one day, you’ll be looking back at your steady commitment to making long-term progress.

If my guide helps you regain control over your sleep regimen, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. With a structured plan, my hope is that your outlook for tomorrow looks clearer, calmer, and a lot more rested.

About the Author: Latiana Blue enjoys solving any problem with a creative solution. She’s also the founder of OFFICE HRS, an alcohol-free community for Black folks everywhere. Through OFFICE HRS, she’s working toward her big vision: a world where dry communal spaces are a normal way to celebrate, build community, and hold critical conversations. Latiana has been alcohol-free for over two years. Follow OFFICE HRS on Instagram and her new personal account @heylatiana.

Thank you, next!