I am the kind of person who gives too many chances, or hangs on too long, but once I am done, I am usually done, and now I am ready to be done with you. This is something I have been thinking about for years, and I have tried to cut you off for years, but was never quite ready or strong enough.
I know there will never be a "right time", and I have to learn how to cope with my issues, stress, problems on my own now, and/or with supportive and healthy people / coping mechanisms. You pretend to be there for me in the moment, but end up leaving me hurt, embarrassed, with no self worth after the temporary "high" is gone. I will try not to think about the wasted time and years, but like any other unhealthy relationship, I need to forgive you and my dependency on you and move on, and see the lesson learned. I am grateful I never hurt myself or anyone else while under your control (at least not physically). I am grateful I never lost a job because of you or let you get so much control I had to be hospitalized. I pray for all who had someone like you in their life, and this happened to them. But, I still had bad things happen because of you, and I don't want it to get worse. And I am tired of being hungover. I want my physical and mental health back before it's too late. I want to meet my goals. I want energy again. I want to be a better example for my children and future grandchildren. I want clarity back.