Had a relapse this past weekend. Blew 10 days of sobriety. Woke up Monday, not only with a hangover, but guilt and shameful soul. I played the deal game again, only have a few drinks, I am feeling better and can handle it - right.
My work life is finally starting back up, which is good. Begin returning to a new normal (as they say). It will be hard to keep the 5 o'clock reward drinking at bay. That's my weakness.
Restart, begin again - with hope of help and assistance to win this game - for good.
@crisp_orbit_367 thank you for sharing with us. It's a new week -- and progress doesn't wash away. You are holding yourself accountable and putting in the work, and that's great.
Something we talk about at Monument is how we can measure success outside of day counting. For example, how many support groups have you attended, how many honest conversations have you had with yourself and others, how many new activities have you participated in? How many days did you resist the reward drinking? Nothing can take that away from you.
You can do this!
Whenever I take a step backwards, I try to be kind to myself. I try to tell myself its ok, and what matters most is what I do next. You've got this and sharing your journey with us shows accountability!
I get this concept: when you fall down you get back up and try again tomorrow. But I've watched my mom "forgive" herself for three decades. I am a hypocrite for being judgmental of her - but I think (at least in my case) that it is time to hold myself accountable because the co-dependent enabling of my own Self hasn't gone well... enough times to know it never will.