We had a friend over last night and I slipped up and had a few drinks.. I don’t know how to have the conversation with my boyfriend that I dont want to drink anymore. Maybe eventually it’ll be okay to have a glass of wine with dinner without wanting to chug the entire bottle. I am actually pretty proud of myself because I just start with my Naltrexone and wasn’t sure how it would react with alcohol so I had 2 vodka sodas and 2 bourbons over the course of 5 hours... for me that’s like not even drinking. I never had my ice cubes completely melt before I was finished drinking a drink ... new experience. Also it was strange being the most sober person in the room. I’ve never done that. When I had my moments of sobriety I would just avoid all social interaction that involved alcohol... ALSO Ive never seen my boyfriend drunk without being completely gone myself. He’s a pretty level headed down to earth guy and was acting like an idiot so god only knows the ass that ive been making out of myself over the last 6-7 years -_- I’m upset that I drank but also proud that it wasn’t a complete binge. it didn’t shake me up enough to be in the “fuck it” mentality again. — my question is though ... whats the best way to have this conversation ? I honestly don’t want to drink any more, I don’t want to wake up one day and be 45 with a fatty liver or some other health problem because I couldn’t put the bottle down.. I want to live long enough to see my grandkids! My boyfriend knows I have an issue with alcohol he knows I have been to AA , and he’s actually one of the main reason I want to stop drinking because he is seriously fed up with me being the “drunk girl“ at ever outing or social event. all suggestions are welcome !
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In The Monument Community you can ask and answer questions and share your experience with others!
I have no answer but I have the same struggle. I'm trying to completely change who I am - "not be super drunk party guy".
It's hard. Good luck. And your story inspired me because I'm not where you are yet, but am hopeful.
It’s a one day at a time battle ! And you’re right its like changing your identity. thanks for reaching out, all comments and support are much appreciated
@shiny_summer_825 let me start by saying, I'm proud of you. When I read this I hear "progress," not "slip up." This isn't a linear journey, and you're trending in the right direction. That's incredible. You'll get to the place you want to be.
Regarding having "the conversation," that's a great question, and can definitely be challenging. But you CAN do it. One of our therapists shared some insights about How To Tell People You're Changing Your Drinking. Check that out! We're also working on a new article about How To Solicit Support From a Significant Other, so I'll share that with you soon!
Also @friendly_autumn_513 and @shiny_summer_825 you'll see a recent post about alcohol-free drink options. If you're in a social setting involving alcohol, substituting with an alcohol-free spirit, beer, or wine is a great option. Some of them are really delicious and complex like a fancy cocktail. I haven't tried all of these brands, but I've heard great things!
Thanks this is really helpful !
I slipped too. It happened. Like you, I had 4 drinks over 6 hours, instead of not counting and just drinking way too much. I woke up the next day and just hit "reset". What was different this time was the conversation I had with myself. Not the balm game, instead I thought back over all the conversation I have had with myself since I joined Monument, the group session insights and my of course "you know why you need to quit" and resolved - to be better. One day at a time. Live today. It is the present.
Do not beat yourself up, if you really want this, you can do it. You will find a way to tell the ones you love and drink with that you need them to understand - you need to make a change for you, not change them. They may not join you in sobriety, but at least you have set the tone with them and can begin to start anew. Stay strong.
@shiny_summer_825 Thank you so much for sharing what occurred! Having a safe place to process your feelings and receive support is extremely important! Like said above, this is a journey and it will have its moments and you should be proud of yourself for the progress so far! I love that you defined your wants, your reasons.. The outcomes you'd like to achieve.. Keep going and take it day by day!
First off, great job being proud you limited yourself instead of beating yourself up. That never helps.
Secondarily, if your boyfriend is aware of you having an issue with alcohol and is supportive of you, that's good for him. There should be no awkwardness in having that dialogue with him.
As for others, don't worry about what they think. You need to do what's right for you. If they belong in your life, that should be with or without alcohol.
My girlfriend was over last night and we had a very nice dinner and watched a movie together. She had 3 glasses of wine. I had flavored club soda.
Whatever you want for yourself is achievable and all within your control 🙂
We're, like, the same person! I hope to see you in group sometime!