I’m 19 days in, due to shipping delays I haven’t started Naltrexone yet but should receive it today. Of the 19, I’ve drank on 4 of these days, each time one bottle of wine and two beers, that’s my normal. I’m so proud of how many days I’ve stayed dry. When I do drink, I still wanna finish the bottle but I’m focusing on the progress so far. My husband drinks heavily most nights so steering clear can be a huge challenge.
What is helping me the most is my true acknowledgement and ownership I have about how much I normalized my 5-6 night a week habit. In my head I would justify by saying to myself “I deserve this” or “I’m fun not a boring square” “I’m handling this” I now see what bull these statements are. I’m a successful business owner and to the outside world most would think I’m doing great. However, that wasn’t the case.
I'm now so grateful to feel so much calmer, my anxiety has mellowed, I feel more centered when I look my two daughters in the eye. I’m also no longer concerned about my liver every moment of the day. I have several friends who have lost their battle with AUD, leaving the world before the age of 50. :(
One thing I know to be 100% true. I will never regret a night of abstaining, EVER. I’m 48 and really excited about not carrying around this 50lb backpack every damn day. Alcohol, for me wine, is that wild friend that you love, who has the worst influence on you, each time you invite them into your life it’s a bit like playing Russian roulette.