For years you were a friend I could take or leave. I never felt codependent or overwhelmed. Our relationship was part of the joy of getting together with friends and family. I started to lean on you and away from people to manage my emotions and anxiety. I told myself I was developing a palate, but I was really cultivating an addiction. Life began to seem dark and I spent most nights bargaining with myself about how and when to end this twisted relationship. Together you've turned me into a liar to keep our secrets. You've stolen my memories, wasted my money and numbed me to real life. After a night together I feel nauseous, shaky, full of self hatred and scared that someone will find out about us. It's just not worth it anymore.