Today is 5 weeks without a drink. Some days are hard and some are easy. My family is really happy I'm not drinking. My boyfriend is really supportive. But I feel like I'm still counting down to a day, one I haven't chosen, where I can have a drink (which, historically, leads to 5). My work is better, my skin and hair look better, I've lost weight, my anxiety is down 10 fold. Everything is better but still I wonder if maybe just one glass .... This past weekend I went camping with 2 others.  They each had several drinks and I drank 2 non-alcoholic beers that I intentionally brought and I  woke up feeling SO GOOD and so proud of myself. Need to remember that feeling. Life is undoubtedly better without drinking. So why is it is so tempting to go back to it?